Silent treatment

I’m so irrationally angry at S. I don’t have the time or the emotion to spare for this. We’ve had massive communication problems for months now – part of the reason we are always arguing. He tells me we need to talk about it, but only when I have more time. I have two months left at university, with at least two deadlines every week leading up to the last due-date, meaning he wants to talk in 2 months time?

Why would he bring it up then?! “I need to articulate it.” He’s telling me he wants to talk, but he hasn’t figured out what he wants to talk about?! So he’s warning me now that in a few months time we’ll be having a conversation about this conversation. What am I supposed to do with that?

We haven’t spoken for two days now.

 

Darkness.

I don’t know how I have let things get this bad. ¬†All these weeks of silencing my pain. .

I can’t describe what I feel, I just know that its wrong. It feels like the world is jigging past me. There are moments that I can’t account for. I can feel either empty, sad or angry with no in-between.