I’ve spent the past week back at home, hibernating with my thoughts because I managed to give myself laryngitis after my quiet weekend turned in to a very heavy weekend of alcohol and baking soda. I felt pretty alone after my last post, and wondering how the hell anyone would be interested in me when I look the mess that I usually do.
However, I’ve spent the best part of the week thinking about how much interest I have actually had over the past 9 months. From the consistent interest from the guy at the gym who has seen me with no make-up and (literally) dripping in sweat; and the guy that I lived with (who had seen – pun not intended – both ends of the spectrum); to the gorgeous Australian I met and went on several dates with when I had looked my best in the entire past 9 months.
In my last post I wrote about a weak moment where I compared myself to someone else, and I questioned things about myself. This had such a big impact for me to write about it because it is not usually something I do. I am self confident, and I learnt at a young age to love myself. I have imperfections yes, and I will always admire the differences in other women, but I don’t normally question my appearance. I have to learn to ignore these thoughts that will inevitably occur.
More importantly, I have been chased. I have had repeated interest, and I spent my summer falling for a guy who besides the point did mess me around. Yet at the end of all of it, I feel no one will accept me like my ex did…does? I’m not as bad as I occasionally think.